Friday, 17 July 2015

Friday Ramblings


I honestly have no idea how this blog post is going to turn out as I have no set topic I want to talk about, but I guess I'm just going to ramble about things that have been on my mind recently. (this could end badly) 

Growing up. I remember when I was younger and I couldn't wait to grow up, now I just want to be 5 years old again. Last night I was overthinking, as usual, and then it all of a sudden hit me that I'm going to be turning 16 next year. Also, today I finished year nine and it feels weird because in September I'm going to be in year ten. I feel like everything is moving too quickly, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. 

I don't want to get too into it in this post, but these past few years have been difficult, to say the least. I struggle with anxiety and have done for the past two and a half years now. School is a massive cause of my anxiety and I really struggle with it. I don't know how I'm going to cope in year ten and that scares me. A lot. 

A lot of people have said that year ten is the year that you start thinking and deciding what you want to do when you finish school and a few people I know already have an idea. Me? I have no clue. I mean I know that I want to travel when I leave school, but career wise? I don't feel like I'm good at anything and to be honest, I don't even want to think about it. Because that signalises that I'm growing up and I'm not ready for that. 

At the same time as I feel like everything is moving too quickly, I still feel stuck. I feel like I'm stuck in this small bubble of existence and I don't quite know what the hell I'm doing or how to get out of it. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is pretty messed up at the moment. 

I'm sorry if this post is really messy and kind of negative, but sometimes you just need to let someone know how you're feeling and I guess you are this 'someone' for me. 

Thank you for reading and I hope you're having a great day wherever you are!